Thursday, August 8, 2013

Never Let me go!

Today was kinda hectic. I (sheesh, only 5 words in and I'm already talking about myself!) accomplished the biggest thing on my to-do list and so yes I feel excited and exasperated about this achievement. Did you know... Kat has been home schooled her whole (yes, the big 1-5) years of life and has now taken the big step to transition to that place called high school? Yes, (you ask with arched eyebrows and skeptic eyeballs) what is that girl thinking now? To be completely and perfectly honest, I have no idea what I'm thinking most of the time, so this was no exception. I did however, narrow down the pro's and con's of homeschooling vs. high school and I came to the conclusion that the only con will be that of trading off 12 noon sleep-ins to six thirty a.m. breakfast. Some how I feel like I made the right choice...
The most embarrassing thing of this whole thing is that I still can't figure out how to open up that thing called a "locker" and believe it or not but civilized people have been relying on the shinny red metal compartment to store many of their textbooks? I personally would feel fine with carrying my schoolbooks around in my backpack all day because 1)  don't care if shallow girls or the general public deem me a nerd (I embrace that) 2) how it it safe to keep your belongings in something that could at any moment be broken into by that stalker down the hall who figures out your combination? Of course I wouldn't chant it out loud! The possibilities are limitless.  On the bright side, I have about 2 weeks to get this down (even if that implies jogging the 20 minutes to school during hours to practice. Story of my life!) That reminds me.. only two weeks until school! Let's stop talking about it and maybe August 19th will last forever! Who wants to know how this summer was spent? I know you don't really care but i'm going to tell ya anyway. It was fun! In June my best amazing friend (wait, I have 2 of them!)  invited me to her church and some how or another that one weird girl ended up stalking the youth group all the way back to camp ( just kidding!). It was soo much fun! I met a lot of incredible people all of which love Jesus so absolutely genuinely that it makes me cry. My sister and I have been tagging along to church every Sunday (I totally bet every one still is all like "what's with that girl"?) but I don't care. I absolutely love it so much there. And I've got pictures that I wish I could post but I don't want to creep out the ones in the picture by publishing their faces on my blog, so for their sake I will not. But yes, that camp was so much fun. Anyway that was June for ya. Then all of July Kat worked like a little slave at her job and maybe one day she'll learn how to budget money and spend it wisely like all the girls her age have set into practice. Now for August... well, mostly I've been slacking at my job and hanging out with friends and making prank calls.. sounds typical? Jamba juice has become my second home every day of my life. They have THE best smoothies of all time. Good-bye Sonic! Yes, this health nut has found her paradise at long last. You know what else I've been occupying myself with? A whole lot of thinking...
 So I've been thinking  (again?!) a lot about my insecurities and what it REALLY means to be a Christian. I mean, I've come across some pretty religious crowds who take the Bible full-on literally (not a bad thing) and have actually written a book about those experiences e.g. think Year of Living Biblically. Speaking for myself, I've never done that. I mean, maybe like once just for fun whenever I was 3 I'd dress up like Mary (okay, that sounds absurd but give this pre-schooler a break) but I've never thought of my Christianity as a religious thing. To me, my walk with Jesus is a personal thing and me and Him like it faith-based. He's been reminding me lately about what trust really means. Just yesterday I was feeling mega  stressed out and whenever that happens I always have to remind myself, hey you can't do anything about it so let God handle it. It took me a while to accept that because I'm that person who feels like she's responsible for everything and goes physco if she can't fix it. But this is God we're talking about here! Ultimately, Jesus has complete control of our lives whether or not we throw our pride in the recycling ben and admit it, so isn't it better just to trust Him to take care of it? So I opened my Bible up to a random page like I always do (my theory is that somehow God will give me just the right verse, and if at first it doesn't make sense he's clearly challenging me to stop assuming every thing's so perfect in life.) Here's a good example of this.  I (what's this buisness about me again?) came across that passage in Matthew  14:22-33, I believe, where the disciples were in that boat and saw Jesus but couldn't believe it was Him.  When they finally opened their eyes and came to their senses Peter chickened out and was crying for his life (you of little faith!). While reading this I thought to myself (who else?) that maybe all along I've been playing the part of Peter (not literally, just in verse 29).  The disciples must've felt all alone and voneralble in that boat of theirs and then Jesus comes to rescue them and what does Peter do? He freaks out! So maybe I've been asking God for help and when He does, I of all people, don't look at what's right in front of me! It's also a little about leading. If you think about it, Jesus was trying to lead Peter into the water ( which now represents my sea of problems) and then Peter should have trusted Jesus, that he wasn't going to drown. For me, the moral of the story is all  about genuine Faith and trust when you feel like you're about to sink terribly. You need to trust Jesus because He's never gonna let ya sink, otherwise you'll just end up where you were to begin with (not fun!). And in my life and everyone else's, God will put you into a situation that you may never understand and you'll feel lost, alone, scared.. But when you remember Jesus is there (even though you can't see Him) you'll know that it's going to be okay. Next time Jesus reaches His hand out to me, I'm grabbing it!


  1. all the best to you in school Kat; and way happy you are having a great summer, camp sounds like it was fun, and if the people there and at your church are what makes you happy; then you've found your niche in life...stick with it, and them...oh, and never has been... and never will be ...a person on this earth, ...who doesn't have insecurities me the person who says they have no insecurities and you'll be looking at a store mannequin .....enjoy the week end and some jamba juice :) !!!

  2. Bein' a cat I, too, was home-schooled. Ol' peepers wasn't, though. She says to tell you that EVERYONE has troubles with the whole locker thingy. They just pretend they don't. You're gonna fit right in, my friend. You'll fit right in.


  3. This is the Staff here! Kat, I wasn't homeschooled, but my brother homeschooled his children and they are wonderful human beings, so caring and intelligent and clever …… Oh, and I am sure you'll do fine with the whole locker thing lol And speaking as a Christian too, I can relate to your 15 year old dilemmas, particularly about faith and trust .. totally! Though I've not seen 15 for a few centuries now lol, I still have problems in that department. I believe, most Christians, if they are honest, do too. It's a life long large learning curve to be sure! Caro xx

  4. We didn't know you started a new blog! And since the mom doesn't ever check blogger, she has no idea when anyone posts, so please excuse her for missing commenting on your posts. She hopes you don't hold it against her. You know, The Girl was in high school not that long ago and could probably help you with some of your questions. It might not be a good idea to lug around all those books all day. They're heavy and will strain your back. Ask The Girl about that one! Purring for the best!

    BTW, we kitties are home schooled too and love those noon wake up calls - after the mom feeds us at 0 Dark Thirty, of course.

  5. Hi Kat.
    We know you will be successful. It takes some stick to it ness and you have that. Keep the school going and all will be fine.
    Dad really likes your reaching for spirituality as this is what keeps us centered.